TL;DR Much Ado About Nothing | Act 1

 ❤ Introduction ❤

Much Ado About Nothing is a Shakespearean comedy that we're reading in our World Literature class. I have only read Act 1, Scene 1 at the time of starting this post, but I'm loving it and want to do a set of TL;DR posts regarding it.

How I feel reading all this nonsense...

❤ Scene 1 ❤

The stage is set with four characters: Leonato, the Governor of Messina; Hero, his daughter; Beatrice, his niece; and a messenger. Leonato holds a letter. 

He states that the letter is from a man named Don Pedro of Aragon. It says that he and his army will come to Messina. He asks the messenger how many men were lost in the most recent battle, to which he learns the answer is actually none. 

"A victory is twice itself when the achiever brings home full numbers." (Agreed.)

 The letter also states that Don Pedro (I'm just going to use DP from here on out) bestowed great honors on a man named Claudio. Claudio is from Florentine and is said to look like a lamb, but fight like a lion, which is what earned him his honors. 

Beatrice asks the messenger about Signor Montanto, who is clarified to actually be Signor Benedick. She recalls a time when Benedick challenged Cupid to an archery competition, which Leonato's jester accepted on behalf of Cupid. 

She continues criticizing Benedick, but her uncle assures her that he (Benedick) will get even. The messenger also tells her of his good work in the military. This leads Beatrice (hereby referred to as Bea) asking who Benedick is keeping as company now, as he is constantly changing who he's around, wearing "his faith but as the fashion of his hat." 

Enter Don Pedro and a slew of others (Claudio, Benedick, Balthasar, and Don John [called the bastard]).

DP asks if it's any trouble keeping him (& his army) to which Leonato assures him that "when you depart from me, sorrow abides, and happiness takes his leave." (How sweet...)

DP looks at Hero and asks if she's Leonato's (Leo, because I'm getting tired of typing full names) daughter, to which he replies that "Her mother hath many times told me so." 

Benedick, not getting the joke, asks if there's any doubt that she's his, and Leo continues his joking by saying no because Benedick was a mere child, unable to seduce Leo's wife.

Benedick continues talking, but Bea cuts him off, mentioning that no one is even listening. They have a relatively short banter, consisting of each saying the world is better off since the other isn't interested in romance, but Bea backs out early (leading Benedick to complain that she always gets out of arguments this way).

Leo asks DP if he'd like to lead everyone inside. DP responds by asking for Leo's hand, saying they'll lead them in together. (Are gay undertones a thing for Shakespeare? Because I'm reading into hella gay undertones between these two.)

Everyone leaves except for Benedick and Claudio.

Claudio absolutely insists that Benedick tells him what he thinks of Hero. Mr. Been a Dick asks if he wants his honest answer, which would involve "being a professed tyrant to their sex". Claudio says to speak seriously, and when Benedick says he doesn't like her and finds her too small and dark, Claudio assumes he must be joking.

Been a Dick asks if Claudio intends to buy her from her father, and we get this hilarious discourse:

Claudio: "Can the world buy such a jewel"

Benedick: "Yea, and a case to put it into."

Claudio is convinced that Hero is the "sweetest lady that I ever looked on," and Been a Dick is still rude about his thoughts and suggests that if "she were not possessed with a fury", Bea is much more beautiful.

Enter DP

DP asks what secrets the two were keeping and requires Been a Dick to answer on basis of allegiance. Benedick tells him that Claudio is in love, but he does not believe him until Claudio confirms.

DP says it's good because Hero is worthy of Claudio's love, but Benedick insists it's a bad idea, stating that he doesn't understand how she should be loved or could possibly be worthy of Claudio's admiration. DP responds with the idea that Benedick was always an "obstinate heretic" in the face of beauty. (Claudio points out that Benedick was never a reasonable person, either, which I think is hilarious.)

"Because I will not do the the wrong to mistrust any, I will do myself the right to trust none. [...] I will live a bachelor." (What a sad way to live, my man...)

DP continues that Benedick will not always feel this way. Benedick doesn't think so, basically saying "If I ever fall in love, hang me up and shoot at me. The person that hits me will be a hero."

"In time the savage bull doth bear the yoke." (Aka, even the wildest get tamed eventually.)

Eventually, after a lot of DP and Claudio trying to convince Benedick that he will soften up eventually, Benedick gets frustrated and leaves.

DP and Claudio continue talking. Claudio asks for DP's help. We learn that, when he was on the battle field, Claudio liked Hero, but was so busy with the fact of war that he didn't expect that like would ever turn to love. 

DP tells Claudio that he would talk to Leo and convince him to promise Hero to Claudio. 

❤ Scene 2 ❤

Scene 2 opens with Leo and Antonio (Imma call him Tony). They are talking about setting up the music, when Tony divulges that a servant of his overheard DP and Claudio talking about Hero. He says that they plan to act tonight with a dance, and if Claudio wishes, then he would approach Leo to ask for Hero's hand.

Leo says that he will warn Hero so she's more prepared to handle the question and the scene ends.

❤ Scene 3 ❤

 Scene 3 opens with Don John (now DJ) and a man named Conrad. Conrad notices that DJ is extremely sad and tries to help. 

Conrad: "Can you make no use of your discontent?

DJ: "I make all use of it, for I use it only."

Enter Borachio

Everyone is eavesdropping now days and Borachio is no different. He tells DJ of the intended marriage.

"Will it serve for any model to build mischief on?" (Jesus, DJ, just let people be happy)

Borachio tells DJ of all the details.

"This may prove food to my displeasure." (Bad DJ. Just let people do their own thing)

❤ Conclusion ❤ 

So, there we have it. No one knows how to keep a secret. No one knows how to not be nosy. And now Don John wants to crash a wedding. I'll have Act 2 up shortly.