❤ Scene 1❤
Hero, Marg, and Ursula start us off
Hero tells Marg to find Bea, who is talking to DP and Claudio. Marg is to tell Bea that Hero and Ursula are gossiping about her in the orchard. Marg promises to make Bea come to the orchard to eavesdrop.
Marg exits
Hero then turns to Ursula, telling her to dote on Benedick and only talk about him. She is to talk about how in love with Bea Benedick is.
Bea enters from behind
The go towards Bea so "that her ear lose nothing" and begin saying how in love Benedick is and how he's just beside himself, but they can't let Bea know because she would make a joke of his love.
"It were a better death than die with mocks, which is as bad as die with tickling." (I would hate to die by tickling. Holy cow that would be terrible.)
Hero and Marg exit
Bea says that if Benedick truly loves her, she will return the favor.
❤ Scene 2 ❤
We open with DP, Claudio, Benedick, and Leo
They are talking of Claudio's upcoming marriage. DP says for Claudio to stay in Messina while he goes back to Aragon with Benedick, but Benedick says he's changed. They argue whether or not Benedick were in love. Benedick says he has a toothache (which is apparently associated with being in love), but Leo says it's probably a worm. They continue bickering about Benedick being in love.
We learn that Benedick has shaved his beard. He's wearing makeup and perfume. They conclude that he must be in love.
Benedick and Leo leave to talk. Enter the bastard aka DJ.
DJ completes his part of the plan and tells DP and Claudio that Hero is unfaithful. He says that if they don't believe him, they can follow him and see for themselves.
❤ Scene 3 ❤
(I'm just going to start by saying that these two are idiots. They keep saying the opposite of what they mean.)
DB and Verges are talking about the watchmen and if they're loyal enough to serve DP. They try to figure out which watchman is deserving enough to be constable. They choose George Seacole, because he can read and write.
"This is your charge: you shall comprehend (he means apprehend) all vagrom (vagrant?) men." (See what I mean by idiots?)
They talk with the watchmen and decide that sleeping on the job is fine, so long as their "bills" not be stolen. They're also supposed to go to the taverns and tell anyone who's drunk to go home. If they won't go, they decide, they'll be left alone until they're sober.
If they meet a thief, they're to not touch them, lest they be defiled, and "let him show himself what he is and steal out of your company." (They really are terrible police.)
Finally, if they hear a child crying in the night, they're to tell the nurse to get it quiet. If she's asleep, then they'll just leave it alone and let the crying wake the nurse.
Dogberry and Verges leave. Borachio and Conrade enter.
Borachio admits to earning a thousand ducats (money, I think) from DJ. One of the watchmen hear and tell the others to stay while he investigates.
Borachio also admits to carrying out his part of the plot, making out with Marg in Hero's window, causing DP and Claudio to think she was Hero, cheating on Claudio.
The watchmen come out and arrest Borachio and Conrade.
❤ Scene 4 ❤
The next moring, we see Hero, Marg, and Ursula.
Hero tells Ursula to go wake Bea and tell her to come here. Ursula leaves.
Hero and Marg talk about Hero's dress, saying how beautiful it is.
Enter Bea
Bea is sick, so Marg suggests distilled carduus benedictus to make her feel better. Bea accuses her of a double meaning in benedictus.
Ursula enters and asks them all to come to the church for the wedding.
❤ Scene 5 ❤
Leo enters with DB and Verges
They tell Leo that they have apprehended two suspicious characters and that they will meet him at the jail after their "excommunication" (I think they mean examination.)
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